oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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