yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
