I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
