4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
