Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
