help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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