I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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