I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
