I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
