too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
