Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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