He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
