One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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