9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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