im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
