I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
