And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I'm jealous of your bromance
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
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