There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
two words: eviction party
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Randomize
