Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
