i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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