After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
