we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
