porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
