drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
