great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
