I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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