Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
