I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Randomize
