Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Randomize