my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
