Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
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