everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
