If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
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You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
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It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
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