the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
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