omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
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