evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Randomize
