At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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