its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Panties = found
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