He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
my being single is dangerous.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Alive.
So much puke
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
