That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
