i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Randomize
