Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
home. puking in laundry basket.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
