Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
