Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Porn is love you can see.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Randomize
