shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
