So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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