i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
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