mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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