That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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