do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
