I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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