and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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