dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
