Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
How's work?
Spinning.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
