I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
