Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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