I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
