So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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