She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Randomize
