he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
