you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
