Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
