if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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