i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
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