I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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