I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Randomize
