I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
