Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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