Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
