I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
