Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Randomize
