My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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