How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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