we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
