i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Randomize
