I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Randomize
