I CAN MOONWALK!
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Randomize
