I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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