i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
