you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Randomize
