I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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